With six children
in our family, and me stuck irrevocably in the middle, most of my clothes as a
child were hand-me-downs. With only one sister ahead of me, however, they were
still in good shape when they came to me.
When I was in
fourth grade, the mother of one of the “rich” girls in church gave us a bag of
clothes her daughter had outgrown. There was a red velvet jumper in the bag
that fit me. I had dreamed of wearing patent leather shoes with heels that
clicked on the floor like tap shoes when you walked in them. I had dreamed of
wearing taffeta with layers of tulle that suspended the skirt in a
perpetual twirl. But velvet was beyond imagining. Velvet was like fur and
diamonds to a girl like me.
Even so, it was a
dress my grandmother made for me the year I was in kindergarten that I remember
with the greatest fondness. It was a new dress that no one before me had even
tried on. A one-of-a-kind dress made with me in mind. I felt invisible for most
of my childhood, but that dress said: “There you are. I see you.” It was blue
plaid with a full skirt, puffed sleeves and lace-trimmed bib. I wore it for that most
auspicious of occasions in school: Picture Day. It was my best dress and I must
have worn it to shreds because I don’t remember either of my younger sisters wearing it.
That dress and the memory of it remain mine alone.
what a pretty child you were with that saintly smile and curly golden locks - looking justly proud of your favourite dress. The one item of clothing I can remember from my childhood was a red swirly skirt appliqued with bunches of cherries - funny how these things stick in your mind isn't it.
ReplyDeleteyou look like a little irish lass... or maybe scottish! since it's a beautiful tartan.
ReplyDeletelovingly made by a grandmother who maybe suspected you needed your very own special dress. grandmothers tend to know things like that.
i had a special dress too. when i was 7. i can still see it in my mind's eye.
i'm glad... for some reason...
that your little dress didn't get passed down.
it was one of a kind. yours alone.
That beautiful red hair! Glorious! I always wanted red hair.
ReplyDeleteA sweet dress of plaid and lace, I think it must have given you confidence for picture day, just look at that self-contained smile.
Feeling invisible is something a lot of women are feeling, it's being written about, even Jeanne Ray's book about it. I don't remember them saying that it begins in childhood but I know it does. And it takes a long time to realize you're not, if you're lucky.
Yes, I remember that fur and diamonds feeling, yours was red velvet, mine was green velvet.
You were a beautiful little girl, ( I love your red hair ! ) and a beautiful young woman. I remember always thinking you looked very much like Disney's Sleeping Beauty when I first knew you in high school.
ReplyDeleteNot being a middle child I know I cannot appreciate how much a dress of your own that was not a hand-me-down meant to you, but this post gives me a glimpse.
I have to say I agree with Dewena's comment, and although you must have felt invisible, for as long as I've known you I assure you you're not. You're loved and appreciated by many. ( Good grief, this is turning sappy so I am going to publish this comment right now ! )